Master Bedroom

I have always stood
in the same room,
crying, leaned against
the other side of this same wall,
feeling like my life is so small,
wanting to die.
And knowing this,
remembering it,
only makes me want
to die more.

I wish I could
die many deaths,
feel it over
and over, and
see
remorse from
no one but my
mother.

But, in my one death,
my mother
can only cry

for me once.

So,
I will
have to make
my one death
count.